People go through life obtaining their “musts”, only to forget about their “shoulds”, and to never achieve their “coulds”, you feel me?
Musts are what we MUST do to survive. We must eat food, we must pay our bills (or, at least, attempt to), we must go to work … All the things we believe we must do to survive.
Shoulds are what we SHOULD do, but don’t always end up doing, like New Year’s resolutions. We should eat better, we should save money, we should work harder … All the things we tell ourselves we should be doing.
But what about our coulds? What happens to what we could do, if we started doing what we should do?
The standards of our lives are created by ourselves. We set the standards for our career, for our quality of life, for our relationships, for our children, for our faith … FOR EVERYTHING! … We make the decision on what we can achieve, what we will accept and what we will not … and it depends solely on our identity. WE identify our limitations … and we do so by creating an identity we believe to be a must.
“My family is poor, so I’m poor. No one in my family has money, so I don’t and won't ever have money.” … “My last relationship failed. They all fail. I’ll never find love.” ... “My parents are overweight, so I’m overweight. I’ll always overweight.”
… According to whom? … According to the standards YOU have set for yourself … to the limitations YOU believe to be true … to the identity that YOU live up to each day.
If we started creating an identity at a higher standard and lived up to that standard instead, what would that do to our musts, shoulds and coulds? What would that do to our quality of life?
I made the decision three years ago to stop acting like a slave … and instead … to act like a queen so that those who come in contact with me treat me as such. Not literally, obviously, but figuratively. I carry myself with my head held high, a swing in my hip and a pep in my step because I believe I deserve to be treated like I matter. Whether it’s a business relationship, a romantic or platonic relationship, or just a friendship or acquaintanceship, I will be treated with a level of respect that I demand.
That being said, over time, I’ve acquired a skill set to be able to part ways with things that don’t make me better … with people I may give so much to who refuse to give the same level of energy and love back … with paths that may lead me to darkness. I know who I am, I know my core, I know my capabilities and I know my work ethic … and all the forces I have inside me are ones to be reckoned with. The power I know I carry within is greater than any bad day, bad circumstance, bad relationship, bad anything. I am good, through and through, on any level because I believe, deep inside, that I am special. I am great. And not greater than him or her, but greater than I used to be … because I decided that’s the standard I want to live up to. I DECIDED to set the high standards for my life.
When it comes to YOUR life, though, what type of standard are you creating? What example are you setting for your children who may continue to follow the same path we are speaking of here and now? What message are you sending to the world?
Are you in a relationship with someone who treats you like dirt, refuses to see your value and purposely does things that hurt your soul? Are you working for a company that overworks you, underpays you and doesn’t appreciate what you have to offer? Do you surround yourself with bad company, who criticize you and put you in harm’s way with no care for your well-being?
If the answer is yes then maybe it’s time you raise your standards. YOU decide who stays in your life. YOU decide what you will allow. YOU decide what will continue based on what you allow. You are the master of your own life and as a result, have no one to blame but yourself if it turns out differently.
You can’t expect to be treated like a king or a queen if you continue to act like a slave … if you continue to act like a pheasant … if you act the like doormat the world wipes its feet on. Raise your standards. Up your game. Be a freaking boss. Stop accepting mediocrity when deep down inside you want extraordinary. If you raise the levels of what you expect for yourself, you’ll raise the quality of the life you lead.
Unhappy? Change it. YOU are in control!