• facebook
  • twitter
  • pinterest
  • linkedin
  • Google+
The heart-shaped rock and Nakalele Blowhole on Maui, HI.

We tend to want what we can't have, chase after what's running, reach for things that seem so far away ... but why? Why do we put that kind of stress on ourselves ... To strive for things that seem unattainable? For things that give us a run for our money, and drain us from enjoying the present?  

Well, it could be because we enjoy the game of someone or something keeping our interest, or that what we see on the outside looks shiny and appears to be pretty and makes us want to put it on a shelf to show off, so we live our life by setting goals to grab it, feel it, touch it, squeeze it ... 

But the real reason we go after shiny things or attractive people, in general, is because we think that something other than ourselves will fulfill us ... We think possessing the things we think we want will make us happy. This is not true. 

Happiness comes from being surrounded by love in all aspects of your life ... At your work place, at your home, at your social gatherings, when you're going through the grocery aisle, when you fly on an airplane, even deep inside your gut. Wherever you go, whatever you do, to be happy, you must surround yourself with love ... and the easiest way to do that is to stay away from people who make you feel you're hard to love. 

Waking up in the morning, sending a long text to your significant other, patiently waiting for a reply, only to get one hours later that in no way, shape or form has any substance but "sup" is not being surrounded by love. It's, instead, being surrounded by disrespecting efforts, unimpressive intellect and someone who is clearly too busy to engage in the coolness of what you were trying to share.

Going to work in the morning saying, "Good morning, everyone", with a smile on your face, only to get frowns and no acknowledgment is not an example of being surrounded by love. It's, instead, being surrounded by a group of people who clearly don't know how to leave their baggage at home, who are unhappy with their career choice or who are unfamiliar with their purpose in life ... People with purpose are nice. Period. 

Unanswered phone calls, messages that haven't been returned by old friends, "read" receipt texts with open-ended questions that haven't been replied to for days, continuously cancelled plans, and being screamed at for never doing anything right are just a few examples of not being surrounded by love. 

Yes, people have their own lives. Yes, people get tied up doing their own things. Yes, circumstances aren't always in your favor, but we're talking about consistency in these situations ... 

When any of these things happen repeatedly, stop. The time you're spending trying to make the effort to share the joys of your life with the people you care most about, only to feel let down, is not worth it. Instead, share your joys with the people who let you know they care to hear them, who reach out just to see how your day is going, who respond to your actions with positive, reassuring reactions. 

Don't become bitter to those who make you feel less, but don't continue going out of your way to prove your worth when those you give your attention to are committed to misunderstanding you. Instead, pray for them, wish them well, and follow the yellow brick road to loving yourself.

Learning to love yourself means learning to only put up with what fulfills you internally. No one wants to have the uneasy feelings inside, so when you find yourself going after things or people, or putting yourself in situations that give you that uneasy feeling, whether it's the feeling that you're doing too much, pushing too hard or just feeling like you're unwanted, that's the universe telling you that it's time to get back to doing you ... Time to get back to only surrounding yourself with love. 

You can surround yourself with love by understanding this: Being hard to love isn't a thing ... it's an excuse for the weak. 

Of course,  not everyone you meet is going to love you ... Not everyone is going to mesh ... Sometimes a Bull and a Pisces create mud ... but that has nothing to do with you ... That has to do with them. And by them, I mean those who play those childish games, who choose to see the imperfections of who you are rather than what you can bring to the table, who pretend to share your happiness only to take advantage of it when it's beneficial or convenient for them ... And they are not the people you need to surround yourself with if you're truly looking for happiness. 

Share your joys with those who want to be a part of them. Work hard for the people who have demonstrated they'll also work hard for you. Put yourself in situations that allow you to feel dignified. Be strong enough to know that where your absence isn't felt, your presence won't make a difference either ... Use this notion to your advantage so you can stop wasting the short amount of time you have in this life feeling uneasy and confused to, instead, start feeling happy and loved. 

Loving yourself and being loved back is the greatest mission you can set out for and to do this, you must do one thing: love who you are to the core. That's it! Because when you love who you are on the inside, no matter what imperfections you think you may have on the outside, you will radiate beauty and attract authentic, real love, both romantically and platonically. Only then, when you are surrounded by love, both inside and out, will you truly be at ease and enduring happiness.

Stay away from people who make you feel you're hard to love because you're not. You should, instead, be hard to get because the positive vibes you have inside, the love an support you can give and the ability to make anybody feel like a somebody are priceless ... and that's something that every human being should have to bend over backwards to obtain ... not the other way around. Smile, pretties. =)