In every aspect of my life ... I used to be “that girl” … Yes, we all know who that girl is …
From time to time, she may be the lush, the cry baby, the over-achiever, the crazy ex, the side chick, the obsessive wannabe girlfriend, the overprotective sister, the selfish partner, the annoying co-worker, the outspoken daughter, the tattletale, the teacher’s pet, the Facebook-venter, the selfie queen, the all-or-nothing-er, the last minute invite, the critic with no credentials, the … Ding! Ding! Ding! ... The "that girl" ... Whether it's been in an annoying, attractive or scandalous manner, at one time or another, I've been accused (and rightfully so) of being all the above.
I’m going to make myself feel a little better by assuming that at one point or another, you have also been that girl … or that person if you’re male.
By now, though, if you’re like me and have experienced being that person, you may have grown accustomed to it. For me, I’m used to being the one who's too big, too loud, too strong, too bold, too crazy, too different yet too similar, too happy, too proud, too confident, too aggressive, too blunt, too sure, too tan, too early, too busy, too caring, too controlling, too hard-headed, too naive ... The girl who is just too much, too much of the time.
And I don't know if I just don’t realize it at the time or maybe, I just don’t care, but to go through life being too much of everything is exhausting … So exhausting, that after 20-some years of doing it, I have grown to be too wise (and maybe too sleepy) to do it anymore.
So let's rewind: Going at something full throttle is an art ... An art that I seemed to have mastered. It is my forte ... My specialty ... Maybe even my best quality ... And in life, there are a lot of negative Nancy-ansty-pantsies in your realm ready and willing to bring you down at any moment, so it's good to be energetic and passionate ... it's good to have strong feelings about things.
But what I've learned over time is that when we use those gifts of energy, passion and feelings and focus on the wrong things or maybe a better use of words—things not meant for us—we end up tired, frustrated and empty. This becomes a huge problem.
Recognize, though, that being too much is not the problem ... I repeat … being too much is not the problem. You'll always be too much for someone ... The problem, though, lies in the things around you that just aren't enough ... The problem is being too much of something that you're not, in an attempt to please someone who or something that doesn't make you feel whole or who has no desire to ever be enough for you.
The problem is going after the wrong things or people with YOUR attitude, energy and intentions, only to regress continuously. When you don't focus YOUR energies on what YOU need and on what YOU enjoy and on what helps YOU grow, you'll always be left feeling unfulfilled and disappointed. So the problem isn’t being too much … it’s being too much for things, people or circumstances that just aren’t and probably never will be enough.
It took me a very long time to understand faith, the laws of attraction and the power of our thoughts and how those ideas translate directly to the success in our lives. It's not something you can explain to people or push on someone, but it's something that once you finally grasp it, nothing in the world can interfere with who you are, what you stand for and how you go about your bid-ness.
Think about the exhausting amounts of energy you used to give towards being that girl ... Towards being on top of everything (whether for you or for someone else) 110% of the time ... Think about if you put that 110% effort into your own shit and only your own shit ... It would actually have a reverse effect once you fully understood the little effort it takes to focus on your own shit.
Focusing on your own shit … I like that … and fortunately, liking to focus on your own shit and doing your own shit is how you learn to love yourself and not to mention, can you save you a lot of time and money ... and that's what we're all after anyway, right? Love, time and money? ...
When you love yourself, all the energy you used to use towards the wrong things suddenly multiplies and you've now got tons of room to do more activities (#stepbrothers) … more energy to pursue the right things ... and that's how you know when it’s all real and when what you’re pursuing is meant for you ... When while you're doing whatever it is you’re doing, you're not completely exhausted, drained or agitated, but rather happy, light and fluffy ... And not too happy, too light or too fluffy—just enough happy, light and fluffy ... Just enough. .
And that's all we need to be ... enough for ourselves. When we can do that ... When we can be enough without doubts, or second guessing our mission, we can make a meaningful life … a life with a purpose … a life with goals to make a difference … a life that is and always will be enough.
Focus on being enough for you and I promise, if you’re that girl, you will evolve into a new, improved, focusing-on-own-shit master, who lives a life worth writing about. Amen! Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! Salute. Enough is enough and will be forever. Own your own shit. The End.