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So, you were dating your person for some time and you thought it was going great. However, during this time of year, by society's standards, we approach two seasons: 

"Cuffin' season" and "Swayze season" ...  
(Most know what cuffin season is--you get cuffed, locked down, enter a relationship, maybe get engaged, etc. ... Then we also have Swayze season where your man or lady flees like Patrick Swayze in Ghost ... no word, no reasoning, no closure, no nothing ... Girl, Bye!)

Now, because you're fully aware of what cuffin' season brings, you felt pretty confident with the way things were going and unfortunately, didn't fully prepare for Swayze season ... so now you're a MESS, doing exactly what you shouldn't be doing ... Whining about your feelings, posting about the break-up on social media, all while [unintentionally] seeming to appear pitiful, helpless and desperate ...

Ok ... Number one? Stop.

Take it from me ... Years in the making and have finally (I think) mastered the art of letting go. So, some tough love: while you are hurt and you are sad and you are in a state of mind that may make you act out of character, and while you have every right to do so, you are actually doing more harm to yourself than good. 

First, you are wasting away valuable days and hours and TIME moping and feeling sorry for yourself, and if you haven't noticed yet, time is something you will never get back. So stop being a cry baby. (I'm sorry, I know you're sensitive right now ... But seriously. Quit being a puss. Toughen up!)

Aside from that, secondly, if you want to win your ex back and you're acting like a typical female (even if you're male), you won't ... Not with that attitude. The public display of neediness and pain and whining are a huge detriment to your character ... And with every sad lyric and every dark meme, you are becoming more and more unattractive to your partner (or now ex partner) than you may have been before the split even happened ... And it's all because you are fearful of the future ... Scared of being without them ... Afraid of what's going to happen... Maybe just weary of being alone ...

Well, I am here to tell you that this breakup is EXACTLY what is meant to happen at EXACTLY the right time so that everything in life that you've wished for can FINALLY be granted.

Often times, we ask or pray or wish or hope for things to happen to our liking ... to our benefit ... but that's not always the way it works. Sometimes in order to get all the things we ask or pray or wish or hope for, we've gotta go through hell to obtain.

You want true love and happiness and financial security ... Great! Fine and dandy! Splendid! But maybe the love you are desiring isn't evolving because you're still loving the wrong person ... And maybe the kind of happy you want to be isn't happening because you're too busy being happy about the wrong things ... And maybe the financial security isn't securing because you're working in the wrong career field, setting goals and plans with the wrong people ... Maybe ... Just maybe ... This breakup is the path to all the answers you've been asking for and praying for and wishing for and hoping for.

Trust me, I've been there and because I've been there, I can tell you with confidence that while we don't always understand it, (the path, the pain and the reasoning) we're meant to live life anyway ... to the fullest ... because what lies ahead is far better than what was left behind. Let go of what was and move forward with what could be ... 

You're single now. You're what ... Late teens? Early 20s? Mid 30s? Pushing 40? Over the hill at 50-something? Wtf are you doing thinking you should stop to give attention or waste one more minute dwelling on something that isn't meant for you? On someone who isn't wild about you? On mediocre love, attention, affection, etc.?

Time waits for no man (or woman) and neither does a good woman (or man) ... So why are you waiting? Why are you doing exactly what every female (sorry ladies, but we crazy with them emotions) does? ... You're acting out of desperation and you are not desperate. You are a living, breathing, beautiful soul who should only accept a partner who can rise to the challenge ... Who can help raise a family ... Who can be your other half.

If the "lover" is cheating, leaving, threatening or playing games, what kind of partner is that? An unreliable, unstable, and undependable one who has a whole lot of growing up to do if ya ask me ... and that all needs to be done on someone else's clock. 

So, here's what YOU need to do ... tonight ... Right now ... Cancel whatever BS you've got going on (which you probably have nothing because you're reading this post about how to feel better) and do this:

Go get some nail polish remover and take off whatever polish coat you've got on. Don't have any on? Paint your nails an ugly color, like the color of your exes soul, and then remove it. Cleanse your face. Soak in a bubble bath. Write down your feelings in a journal. Light a candle and let it burn.

BOOM! It's time for you to enjoy your life for YOU! The little things ... A walk in the park, ice cream cones with your son or daughter, bike rides with an old friend, fuzzy socks and soup on a cold, rainy day, weekend getaways by your lonesome, a positive thinking book, a bucket list of things you want to accomplish BEFORE you let yourself attempt to fall in love (again). Happiness starts with you. Good relationships start with you. The answer to all your worries lies within your ethic to change. It all starts with you.

So, once you've cleansed and made the decision to let it burn, go have fun! Go do the little things that make you smile and do it all alone.

When you can earn your own money, pay your own bills, speak your own mind, think your own thoughts, pursue your own passions, change your own life ... What is there to be depressed about? What? Because the one you wanted to share it all with suddenly up and left you? Cheated on you? Fell out of love with you? Well guess what ... You aren't the only one who has experienced heartache and you won't be the last ... but you want to know what's better than all that? ... that fact that there's like, 174848959748 billion people in this world ... With those statistics, I am certain there is someone out there who will, indefinitely, replace your ex ... tenfold ... Who will give you all you desire and more ... but that is irrelevant right now.

This is about you ... Finding you ... Doing things for you. Don't waste any more time feeling sorry for yourself because every day you spend moping is a day wasted of hoping and changing and growing for the better. It's going to take a long time ... heartbreak doesn't heal overnight ... but the sooner you realize that you have the power to change the way you feel, the sooner you can start feeling better. Simple as that. 

A good rule to live by is to be all that you desire in life and everything you desire will come to you when it's meant to ... Not a second sooner ... Not a minute later ... But when it's meant to. Stay strong, have faith and show that mo'fo the shoulda, coulda, wouldas of what he or she so effortlessly let go. Ya'll broke up. Now, do what you're meant to do ... Live life to the fullest! You got this!